


Find You

by magnificentbanes



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 11:39:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13658238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnificentbanes/pseuds/magnificentbanes
Summary: Magnus gets taken to Edom. Alec will stop at nothing to find him.





	Find You

**Author's Note:**

> i suggest listening to "find you" by ruelle while you read this!

The inky black portal closed behind Magnus and Asmodeus before Alec even had time to process what was happening. He stood there, not moving, not blinking, not breathing, for what felt like an eternity. When he finally thawed out, all he felt was an excruciating pain in his heart.

Magnus was  _ gone _ . Gone off with his demon father to Edom, the one place Alec couldn’t follow him. It felt like someone had ripped his soul right out of his body, it was a pain more unbearable than when he thought Jace had died. He fell to his knees, clutching his torso, trying to hold himself together.

But it wasn’t enough, Alec realized when he started to sob.

He let himself cry for a few minutes, releasing all the emotions threatening to rip him apart at the seams, before standing and scrubbing the drying tears off his cheeks. A fire was burning in his chest, not masking the pain, but it made him determined all the same.

Alec was going to find Magnus if it was the last thing he did. If he had to walk straight into the pits of hell, Alec was going to  _ find him _ .

\-----

“Alec.” He looked up at the sound of his name, rubbing at his eyes. He had been scouring every book on Edom in English that Magnus owned, trying to find anything that would help him find Magnus, but so far he’d come up empty. “You haven’t slept in days. Why don’t you go home and-”

“I’m  _ fine _ , Jace.” What Alec didn’t tell Jace was that at the mention of “home” it felt like someone had jammed a knife into his heart and twisted the blade. He hadn’t been back to the loft in weeks, not since the day Magnus had gone through the portal. Everything there reminded him of Magnus, of the life that they had built together, and it just hurt too much to be there. It didn’t feel like home anymore because the loft wasn’t his home, Magnus was.

“No, you aren’t. Alec, you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

“I have to find him.”

“It’s been weeks and you aren’t any closer now than you were then. Don’t you think maybe it’s time to...you know?”

“What, Jace?” he snapped, the band that was his stretched thin patience breaking. “Give up? Give up on the man I love, the one person who means more to me than anything in the world? Give up on the one thing that’s made me happy for the first time in my life? I can’t  _ give up  _ on him. What if it was Clary? What would you do?”

“I would do whatever it takes to find her.”

“Exactly. Now,” he said, rubbing his eyes once more, looking down at the text in front of him, the fire in his chest burning brighter than ever, “if you aren’t going to help me, I suggest you leave.” He didn’t look up, but he heard the door click closed. He paused, shook his head, then went back to reading.

If it took years, Alec wasn’t giving up on Magnus.

\-----

“Mr. Lightwood, it has come to my attention that you have been neglecting your duties as head of this Institute.”

“Mmm,” was all Alec said, not looking up from his book.

“Mr. Lightwood, look at me.” Alec barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes and looked up at the Inquisitor, who was standing in front of his desk, looking formidable. But Alec was not going to be intimidated by her. “If you don’t start doing your job, I’m going to have to give control of the Institute to someone else.”

“Fine.”

“Excuse me?”

“You want to take my job from me? Fine, go ahead. I don’t care anymore.”

“This attitude is unbecoming of a Shadowhunter, Mr. Lightwood.”

“Good to know.”

Imogen stared him down, but Alec stared right back. “You need to get your emotions in check.”

“Why, exactly? Because I kept my emotions “in check” as you say for over twenty years and it almost killed me. Letting myself feel and show emotions has made me a better person, leader, and Shadowhunter. Actually, you should try it sometime. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have important matters to attend to.” He went back to his book, not caring whether Imogen was still standing there or not.

\----

“Go home, big brother.”

“I can’t, Iz.”

“You need to.” Izzy came around to his side of the desk and knelt down, running a soothing hand over his hair. “Go home and sleep in your own bed. You’re not going to be any help to Magnus if you kill yourself from exhaustion.”

Alec knew she was right. In the month and a half since Magnus had gone missing (could someone be considered missing if you knew exactly where they were, but couldn’t get to them?) Alec had been sleeping in his old room at the Institute, wearing the same four outfits that he had left behind for nights when he just wouldn’t be able to make it home. The bed was hard and cold - it held none of the warmth or protection that the bed at the loft did.

But Alec still hadn’t been able to face going back there. Catarina brought him books whenever he needed new ones because she knew that Alec wasn’t strong enough to get them himself. Just the thought of being in the loft with the knowledge that Magnus wouldn’t be home at the end of the day was unbearable.

And yet he found himself saying, “Yeah, you’re right, I’ll go home.” Izzy kissed his forehead and stood, gathering his books and pushing them into his arms.

“Come on, I’ll take you.”

Alec rarely traveled from the Institute to the loft the mundane way, but he had to admit that the journey was helping clear his head, even if it was also giving him too much time to think about how, once Izzy left, he was going to be all alone. But he tried to push those thoughts away because if he didn’t, he knew that he was going to go insane.

Walking into the loft, using the key he kept around his neck that he rarely had to use, Alec saw that everything was just as he’d left it nearly two months ago. Chairs and tables knocked over, books strewn around the room. Seeing the usually pristine loft in this condition just brought Alec right back to that day. His knees buckled and he would have fallen to the ground if Izzy hadn’t been there to catch him. “Let’s get you to bed, big brother.” She led him to the bedroom and helped him lay down, taking his shoes off for him and covering him with the blankets.

“Iz…”

“I’ll stay until you fall asleep, don’t worry.”

Alec nodded and sunk into the pillows, allowing himself to be enveloped by the familiar warmth. It wasn’t the same as it was when Magnus was with him, but Alec could just pretend that it was just one of the nights that Magnus came home late and Alec had to go to bed without him. He closed his eyes and before he fully succumbed to sleep, he felt Izzy’s lips press to his forehead and heard the door click shut behind her.

When Alec awoke, the sun was streaming in through the window and he had his face pressed into the pillow that still smelled like Magnus. He rolled over, still clutching the pillow, and groaned. He had woken up like this on many a morning when Magnus had to start his day before Alec and he could almost pretend that everything was normal.

But Magnus was gone and nothing was normal.

And that’s when Alec broke.

The emotions he had been trying to supress for months came welling up and spilling out of his eyes. A sob tore from somewhere deep in his soul and he clung tighter to the pillow, the only thing anchoring him to this world.

After he had cried himself dry, Alec released the pillow and rolled over to see that he had several missed calls from Catarina. His heart raced as he called her back.

“Oh, there you are. Where the hell are you? I’m at the Institute but there’s no one here that knows where you are.”

“Sorry, Izzy took me back to the loft.”

“Stay where you are. We have things to talk about.”

She hung up and Alec let his phone fall out of his hand and onto the bed. He got up, stretched, and went to take a shower. He spent the entire time wondering what Catarina needed to tell him that she couldn’t say over the phone.

He hoped it was good news.

By the time Alec was showered and dressed, Catarina had let herself in and was waiting for him in the living room. “You look well rested,” she commented.

“You don’t.”

“I was up all night and I think I might have found a way to bring Magnus home.”

Alec’s heart sped up, beating out Magnus’s name.  _ Mag-nus Mag-nus Mag-nus.  _ “How?”

“It’s a spell and a relatively simple one at that I don’t know how I didn’t find it sooner.”

“When can we do it?”

“Now, if you’re ready.”

As much as Alec wanted to go  _ now,  _ to bring Magnus home  _ now _ , he realized that he was underprepared and didn’t have any weapons with him and he couldn’t exactly walk into a demon realm empty handed. “I need to go to the Institute. I need my bow.” Catarina nodded, already making a portal.

Once Alec was equipped with weapons and he’d told Izzy where he was going so she could keep an eye on Jace and the Institute, he lead Catarina to the courtyard where they had summoned Azazel because he didn’t want anyone interrupting them or asking stupid questions.

Catarina started chanting in a demonic language and Alec watched as an inky black portal opened in front of them. “All right, Shadowhunter, you’re all set. Remember to keep your face covered and be careful of your eyes. Demonic sand is not kind. Also, demons are probably going to swarm you so just….be prepared for that.”

Alec hefted his bow higher on his shoulder and adjusted the seraph blades strapped to his thighs. “I’m good.” Catarina nodded and stepped aside.

“Go bring him home, Alec.”

“I won’t leave until I do.” And with that, Alec walked through the portal and landed on the black demon sands of Edom.

Alec started to make his way over the dunes, remembering Catarina’s advice to walk towards the bright red light that shone over Asmodeus’s palace. The winds were calm, almost eerily so, but Alec was grateful for it all the same. He ran into a number of demons but they weren’t anything that he couldn’t handle.

The closer he got to the palace, the larger and more dangerous the demons became. By the time he’d reached the palace doors, he was winded and exhausted, but he wasn’t going to stop now, not when he was so close.

Inside the palace was quiet and free of demons and Alec ordinarily would have been on alert, thinking it was a trap, but right now he was just focused on finding Magnus. He found a set of stone steps that led down into a deep darkness and something in him tugged him in that direction. He took a witchlight out of his pocket and descended the steps, only the sound of his feet on stone and the beating of his heart to keep him company.

At the bottom, he saw doors lining the hall, all open except for one at the very end. His heart accelerated and he raced towards the closed door, skidding to a halt in front of it. He fumbled to pull his stele out of his pocket and drew an unlocking rune on the door. He heard that lock click and he twisted the handle, easing the door open.

Inside the cell he found Magnus sitting on a bed in the corner. One of his wrists was shackled to the bedpost but other than that and being a little grimy, he looked unharmed. Magnus looked up at the the door opening and laughed, a mirthless sound. “Very funny, Father.”

“What? No, Magnus, it’s me. It’s Alec.”

“Prove it.”

“I’ll love you until there’s no more stars in the sky,” he said. That was the phrase they had come up with after Magnus had switched bodies with Valentine, so they would always know it was really them.

Magnus’s face broke into a wide grin and Alec rushed over to him. He buried his face in Magnus’s neck and breathed him in, feeling more relaxed than he had in months. “Alexander,” Magnus breathed out and Alec had never heard a more beautiful sound.

“I’m here, I’m here, you’re safe,” Alec assured him.

“You came. I can’t believe you came for me.”

Alec pulled back and looked Magnus in the eye, running a thumb over his cheek. “There’s nowhere in the universe that you can go where I won’t find you.”

**Author's Note:**

> come visit me on tumblr: magnificentbane!


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